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May contain traces of nutrients

I went to meet Rebecca and Marcia, who were representing Mars at a career fair-type thing at Melbourne Uni, and they gave me a lift home.

Yesterday, I had another day working from home. Each day, my thesis increases in length by a little bit. Occassionally, I get a sense of perspective that, "hey, I've done all this work. That's pretty cool." Much better than thinking. "Another day, and I only got 5 pages done"

Because I've been working from home a lot, I've been able to get to the green grocers and the butchers, so I haven't had cause to go to the supermarket. Also, because I've been working from home, like a locust to crops, I have stripped the house bear of lollies, chips and biscuits.

So, this morning, I did a big, replenishing shop. Aside from supplies Rebecca had put on the list, I kinda went over the top a little. I bought lots of biscuits and cakes and lollies and chips and all sorts of things of that ilk. Ultimately, it there was to be a warning label put on my trolley, it would say, "Caution, may contain traces of nutrients", and I don't mean in the sense that a packet of peanuts contains the warning, "May contain traces of peanuts" (Yes, I have seen it).

Discounting Rebecca's shopping list, the healthiest thing I bought was probably the slab of beer.

Hopefully the supplies will last a few weeks. Realistically, they will last about three hours.

Now AATTLG productions presents: Romeo and Juliet - a story about a pair of star-crossed collaborators.

The story begins at a departmental seminar where two revival groups, those of Prof. Montague and Prof. Capulet, are involved in a heated discussion with each group trying to invalidate the work of the other. The head of department tries cooling things down, and tells them that if members of either group try sabotaging the other, they will be kicked out of the department.

Dr. Paris talks to Prof Capulet about some collaborative work involving his new postgrad, Juliet.

One of Prof Montague's favourite postgrads, Romeo, is depressed because he wanted to collaborate with Rosaline, from the Capulet group.

In the hope of being able to work with Rosaline, Romeo goes to a Capulet group-organised poster session and provocatively puts up one of his posters. Tybalt, one of the Capulet post-docs, is about to launch into an exposition demolishing Romeo's work when Prof Capulet speaks up for Romeo, and adds that they won't be the first to break the HOD's demand for peace.

Romeo remains in the poster session, where he spies Juliet's poster. At this instant, he realises that her work is so much better than Rosaline's and they meet up outside on the balcony.

There Romeo proposes that they get a lawyer to draw up a contract for them to collaborate. They secretly use a Franciscan lawyer, Mr Lawrence, who draws up a contract of collaboration which leaves neither with time to undertake additional collaboration.

In the next act, Tybalt tries to provoke Romeo. Mercutio, a friend of Romeo's who is in the HOD's group, stands up for Romeo. In anger, Tybalt accuses Mercutio of plagiarism and presents sufficient evidence that Mercutio is forced to leave. In retaliation, Romeo produces evidence that Tybalt has falsified data, and Tybalt is similarly sacked.

The HOD suggests that it would be best if Romeo transfers to another institution, and forces him to do so.

Prof Capulet makes the arrangements for Juliet to transfer to Paris' lab, but Juliet throws a tantrum and says that she'd go and work with Romeo before she'd work with Paris.

Juliet again turns to the lawyer. The lawyer recommends that she goes and sees a naturopath, who will give some herbs which make her display symptoms that she is really sick, and she can then quit, citing ill health. He then suggests that she can join Romeo at Mantua Uni.

Juliet goes to see the naturopath, who despite having no medical or pharmacy training, is legally allowed to prescribe things which have drug-like affects, even though they have not undergone any kind of scientific testing or analysis which is required for even the simplest of drugs. The naturopath puts Juliet on a "cleansing diet". This diet makes Juliet excedingly sick and she is forced to drop out.

Hearing of this, Romeo thinks that he won't be able to complete his work successfully and also quits his PhD. He decides to go to work in an industry job where he is paid highly to perform menial work.

Juliet never recovered from the naturopath's diet, and died shortly after.

Mr Lawrence then explained what had happened to the two groups. Resolving to put aside past differences for all of five minutes, both groups unite to try to ruin Mr Lawrence's career. But realising that he is a lawyer, there isn't much more they can do to besmirch his name. They then got back to their past squabbling.


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